MDSS

Based on an independent study conducted by the medical firm of Me, Myself, and I over the last two days.

There is a new disease out there affecting millions of moms across the nation. Only the very strong can overcome it, I pray that none of you are afflicted! Please take a moment and ask yourself these few questions:
Do you wait through 3 turns of a 4-way stop because you are applying makeup?
Are you oblivious to the fact that your 3 three old is roaming freely out of his car seat because obviously your phone conversation is much more important?
Do you put on your left blinker on the freeway, only to swerve 2 lanes RIGHT to exit?
Do you stop in the middle of the street with no warning because you dropped something?
Do you not pull far ahead enough at the drive-thru while distributing food to unbuckled children?
Do you drive around with your diaper bag on your roof?
Do you drive 20 in a 35, and there is no school zone for miles?
Have you suffered lack of hearing due to an overwhelming number of other drivers honking at you?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, I am afraid you have MDSS, Minivan Driver Stupidity Syndrome. And if you are not infected yet, you may have a brain and be immune, you are among the lucky ones! But thank goodness, there is a cure!

Drive yourself to the nearest car dealership and trade your vehicle in for an SUV. Side effects may include: an increased sense of self confidence, the I'm bigger and better than you mentality, forgetfulness of checking mirrors while making lane changes because you can run those Volvos right off the road, aversions to smells of whatever is festering in your third row seat, and the inability to park in your garage.

Now SUV's aren't for everyone, be sure and talk to your car salesman and find the best option for you. But please seek help, for the safety of you and your children, and for those moms and children who are driving around you!