My Not So Irrational Fear

We have all obviously heard now of the tragedy in Minnesota. How the bridge collapsed, during rush hour, putting all those cars in the water. I feel so bad for all those people, what they must have been thinking, how scared they must have been.

Which leads me to the fact that my fear of bridges is well warranted!

I thought perhaps I had conquered it on a drive to Florida a few years ago. That long stretch over the swamp in Louisiana. I was freaking out but I did it. Traci offered to drive for me, but it was my demon to face. But really I still cringe every time I cross a bridge. Especially the big one over the causeway into Galveston. Hands at 10 and 2, eyes straight ahead, a few miles BELOW the speed limit, in the center lane.

Why am I so scared?? I have a reoccurring nightmare that my car is going over and we are sinking and somehow I have to miraculously save myself and my four children. Which for me includes climbing over two rows of seats and unbuckling 2 car seats with 5 point harnesses. I wake up often in a cold sweat FREAKING OUT!! It's probably the reason that I have not one, but two life hammers in my center console.

Of course I'm sure we all have some sort of thought that something will happen to our children. It's frightening to think that they could be hurt in any way. But for me the bridge dream is so scary because it's all in my hands. Their lives, in my hands.

And I am scared to fail.