I Don't Like Plumbers

We've been having an issue with a rather unpleasant smell coming from the laundry room. A call was put into warranty a while ago and we have not been having the best of luck actually solving the problem. Perhaps it is because they are sending the most intelligent plumber in the world here to deal with in. Please note that was sarcasm.

Trip 1: Genius arrives, basically stands in our laundry room for 15 minutes scratching his head and something else, saying he has never heard of such a thing.

Trip 2: Genius arrives to put smoke bomb in outside sewer drain while I stand in laundry room for 15 minutes waiting to smell smoke. When I finally walk out to tell him no smell, he extinguishes his cigarette (I smell it now) and tells me he is baffled because he has never heard of such a thing (apparently his catch phrase). He walks away, scratching again.

Trip 3: We ask Genius if he could maybe just locate to vent to the washing machine to see if there actually is one and maybe that's why it smells like stale water. He just informs us that there's no way to tell which vents and pipes go to what because they are all grouped together. Which apparently he forgot that my husband used to be a homebuilder and we know better.

Trip 4: I stand him up, because frankly I am irritated with his attitude and lack of actual physical labor, well besides scratching .

Trip 5: Today. I make sure the Warranty Man is here because I really can't handle any more of Genius. Especially after he asks if I'm sure I even smell anything, or maybe it's my washer. Except nothing ever smelled in our old house so that rules out the washer. Of course he was told this on trip 1. And yes I am sure I smell something. I am a mother, I am quite experienced in foul odors.

Warranty Man says maybe we could pull the washer out and check the actual water source? Now that's a brilliant idea! Stale water smell: check the water. Why Genius didn't think of that I will never know. And then it occurs to me that in all of his trips here, he has never even touched my washing machine.

He steps behind the washer to check the fittings and the hoses and proceeds to ask me if I am using the hose from our previous house.

Umm, I don't know.

Well because this hose is way too long and it should be a lot shorter, so where did this here hose come from?

Umm, I don't know.

Well I gotta pull all this hose out the drain, see, and that's probably why it smells cuz you got too much hose in this here drain and did you hook this up, cuz it's all wrong, and...

Umm, I don't know about all that. I do know that I operate the front of the machine and not the back so if it's the hose fix the damn hose and let's get on with it!

I put myself in timeout and let Genius and Warranty Man play with hoses.

I don't know what they did, I don't know if they fixed it. I do know that they are lucky this is not my dime. And that if there is a Trip 6 required he can not possibly be the only plumber in their company. And they will be sending someone else, but if the new one's dumb too, he better at least look like Mike Delfino!