Not in my job description

There are a few things in our marriage that I don't deal with, not my department, leave them up to the man. Those would include putting the trash out, grilling, changing light bulbs, math homework, cleaning the hamster cage, paying the bills, and killing bugs. Obviously with hubby's chaotic travel schedule, I've had to step up in some of these tasks. And I'm not happy about it...

The other night there was a cockroach in the girls' bathroom sink. A disgustingly large, almost bigger than the hamster cockroach. The first I've seen in the house since we moved back to Houston. If you were to ask what I hate most about Houston it would be cockroaches and mosquitoes. I can handle the heat and the humidity, I just can't handle the bugs.

The usual routine around here is if a bug is spotted, I either go and grab a plastic cup and put it over the thing or I grab one of Hubby's shoes and smash it. Then when Steven gets home, it's his job to kill whatever is trapped under the cup or clean the guts off of his shoe. And let me tell you mustering up the courage to smash or trap a bug is a big deal. I am a wuss, a full out pansy when it comes to insects. I am terrified, no PETRIFIED would be a better word! I will stand and stare at a bug for ten minutes, follow it around if it moves, and take about 10,000 deep breaths before I actually get the nerve to proceed with my attack. So to help me along with my fear, Steven bought me this handy, dandy tool to use when he's not around:

So the other night when the massive cockroach was spotted, I screamed to the girls, "Get the bug vacuum." They raced upstairs with it, handed it to me, I stood there with the three foot wand and could. not. move.

I was frozen. I had visions of missing the thing and it crawling up the wand and onto my face and it was just not happy thoughts I was having! So I turned to the girls again and said, "Go get Mr. Jeff!" Because major companies outsource all the time, the tasks they don't want to deal with. And I'm a big fan of outsourcing.

So Jeff is my newest hero in a long line of neighbors' husbands who take care of me while Steven is away. And had he not been there, I don't know what I would have done. Because we don't have a plastic cup that big.

Later that night, a mosquito eater was buzzing around in my bathroom sink. And I began to think, wow this is rather comical. I haven't seen any bugs since Christmas when I was given the bug wand and now in one night, two big honking disgusting things! But by now it was midnight, and I could handle a mosquito eater. So after dousing it with about 12 cups of water, trying to drown the thing first or rather stun it so it couldn't fly away, I got the bug vacuum and sucked it right up. And there it sits, until Steven comes home to empty the thing.

Because emptying the bug vacuum is now on the list of things that I don't do.