Natural Woman

I'm participating in the Birth Story Carnival started by our favorite Sarcastic Mom, Lotus. Now since I have birthed four babies, I could very well write a novel here. Which would take you longer to read, than it did for me to birth them. And we don't want that. I'm sure you have other things to do with your time, like play with your children, do the dishes, maybe fold some towels.

So today I'm going to write about how I decided that home birth with a midwife was right for me, which very well might turn into a novel, because I'm quite passionate about the subject. I'll follow up with the actual births throughout the week. And you're going to want to read them, because they're good stories. Nothing NORMAL ever happens to me.

I found out I was pregnant with my first baby at the age of 18. Yes, I was a young mom to be, a teenaged mom to be, an educated mom to be. I think the fact that I was in college helped play a lot into my decision of choosing to use a midwife. Why? Because I was already doing oodles of research on crap that didn't interest me for school so why not research something that would affect my life dramatically?

When I told my mom I was pregnant, she immediately suggested I use a midwife. I'm pretty sure that I decided she was crazy. Who would want to do that? Who would not go to a hospital to have a baby? Who would not put their lives and the lives of their unborn child in the hands of a well-educated, many degreed obstetrician? Who would want to have their baby at home with a midwife? Who? Well it ended up being me.

I started to read up on midwives and all the benefits of using one as opposed to a doctor. How she would be the only person I would see from start to finish. She was my one contact through all prenatal visits, the birth itself, and postnatal followups. No wondering about the bedside manner of whichever nurse happened to be on duty that night. No worrying about if my doctor had a golf game scheduled during my delivery. Just reassurance that the person I had been with from the start, was the one I was going to finish it out with.

For me, and I'm sure for many, hospitals are a very, very scary place. A place where sick people go. A place where they are ready and willing to stick you with an IV and give you a shot for whatever you need. Well, most of you know that I am TERRIFIED of needles! And when it occurred to me that I would be admitted and immediately given an IV and nurses would be pushing the epidural on me, and we all know how big that needle is, well that just reaffirmed my decision to not go there!

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that pregnancy and childbirth were a beautiful, natural process of life. And I started to think that doctors treat sick people, and I was not sick! I wanted to celebrate the process of bringing a new life into this world, and treat it as the natural thing it was, that's why I decided on using a midwife.

My first thought when the word "midwife" was mentioned was some old hag delivering a baby in the Middle Ages. That's so not what I got. Pat was a beautiful, soft spoken woman with children and grandchildren of her own. Who also happened to have a degree in midwifery from the Baylor College of Medicine. Every bit of schooling pertaining to pregnancy and childbirth that obstetricians had, she had as well, which definitely put my mind at ease.

Our first meeting, I was so nervous, she was actually the first of 5 midwives that I planned to interview. Well obviously I didn't see any others. Her birth center was beautiful, not a medical instrument (or a needle) in sight. She made me feel immediately at ease. Her office was covered in pictures and birth announcements of all the little ones she helped into this world. And she could tell you all of their stories. She could remember what time that one was born, or how this baby only weighed 5 pounds, or how when that baby was born her dad was so nervous he threw up. She shared stories and stories and through them all, I could see how she loved not only these babies, but also these families.

And so Pat became a part of my family. And she delivered 3 out of my 4 babies. She would have delivered Kathryn as well, had we not moved to a different city. In fact she the midwife I ended up using for Kathryn's birth was one that was recommended by Pat. I would not make that sort of decision without Pat's input!

I could go on and on about how our prenatal visits went, the excellent care and concern she showed me every time. How she would get on me about my diet and sugar intake. How she would suggest papaya for heartburn. How she would only stick me with a needle once for blood work. How amazing and educational her childbirth classes were. How every possible scenario of what could go wrong was explained to me and how we had a backup plan in case something happened. How exciting it was when she was called away to a birth during my visit because I knew that would happen for me. How precious it was to see a baby in the office born a few days ago and to listen to the mom rave about her birth experience. How I never felt like a patient but always a person. How when I was pregnant with Abby and alone, she called me everyday to check on me, how she came to my house and consoled me, held the pillow while I punched it, how she reassured me constantly that this baby was a miracle and that I had to strength to see it through.

And then the births... how she was just as excited as I was to see those little girls born. How she shared in the love of our families that welcomed these precious angels into our lives.

I can't sing the praises enough of having a baby at home. Welcoming your child into an environment that is familiar and safe to you. Bringing them into a place in which they already have all the immunities against. Having who you want there with you. Eating what you want, when you want. Birthing in any position, in any place you want. And even though it hurt like hell, using wonderful tools such as affirmations and meditations for pain management instead of drugs. Having your baby immediately placed at your breast and not taken away from you for hours, not until you're ready to let her go. Once I experienced the beauty of home birth the first time, how could I do it any other way?

Obviously home birth is not for everyone, but it was for me. I couldn't imagine having a baby any other way. In fact when I was at the hospital when my nephew was being born, I was like a deer caught in the headlights. I tired the nurse and my sister-in-law out with all my questions about what was happening. The fact that her contractions were off the chart on the monitor and she was just laying there watching The Usual Suspects and not feeling a thing was so mind boggling and foreign to me.

The one down side about home birth was that it was not covered by my insurance. Which makes no sense to me. Lots of people ask me was it cheaper to have my baby at home, was that why I decided to do it? In fact, it's quite the opposite. When it's all said and done, it would cost an insurance company so much less to pay a midwife than a doctor, providing of course everything went right. Which it did, every time. But that's where education comes into play. You have to informed of your risks, you have to have a healthy pregnancy, you have to take care of yourself. I remember when Pat had to refer some patients to a doctor because their baby was breech or surprise there were twins or the mom had developed placenta previa. High risk pregnancies aren't delivering at home. But for those of us who choose to have our babies differently, it's a shame the insurance companies can't recognize us. But it was worth EVERY penny!

Most people think I'm insane when I tell them my babies were born at home. That I didn't just do it once, but four times. Some of the girls' friends think it's a little weird they weren't born in a hospital. And I think what will they do, when it's their turn? When they become mothers. I wonder what they will choose. Midwives are showing up in more and more doctors' offices across the nation. Birth centers connected to hospitals are becoming a popular option. Midwives have been the primary source of care in many European countries which all have a much lower birth mortality rate than the US.

By the time my girls become mothers, maybe the question will be "Who would want to have their baby in a hospital with a doctor?"

*If you are interested in hearing other birth stories, check out the link on Lotus's site. If you just can't wait to hear how one of mine came into this world, check out Abby's birth story here.