It just gets better

The phone rang at 8 this morning.

Good morning, ma'am, we have Alli's lab results.

I wasn't aware that Alli had any lab work out there.

Oh yes ma'am, she tested positive for strep.

Hmm, well when we were there on Wednesday, the doctor came in and said that her strep test was negative.

Oh well this is the result from the overnight test.

Well, don't you think you should have told me that on Thursday or at least Friday maybe?

Umm...

Because my daughter has been miserable for the past 6 days, I was told to just treat her fever, when obviously something much bigger was going on. She's missed 4 days of 7th grade, do you have any idea how much homework she is going to have? When if we just would have got it right the first time, I could have pumped her up with some amoxycillin and she would have been healthy, happy, and at school!

Well I'm really sorry about that ma'am. Someone should have called you.

Yeah, someone should have. Tell you what, just call her prescription in NOW. Here's the number, unfortunately I have it committed to memory.

Once again, we're sorry...

Yeah, whatever, bite me.

(Note to self. Never, ever again be okay with your pediatrician being overbooked and suggesting you see her colleague at another office. Be the assertive, loud bitch that you are and get seen by the doctor you know and love.)

At 9am I called the pharmacy to see if her prescription is ready.

Oh yes ma'am, we're still working on it.

So when will it be ready?

In about 20 minutes.

Okay, do you have all her information?

Yes, ma'am.


2 hours later... I drive to the friendly neighborhood Walgreen's to pick up her scrip.


Ma'am that's going to be 42 dollars.

Come again?

42 dollars.

Exactly why is that?

Your doctor called this in? We don't have any insurance information on Allison.

Tell me you're not serious. I called, I asked, I was told everything was set.

Do you have your insurance card?

No, do you have the information there in your little computer for the other 5 prescriptions I've picked up for various people with her same address and phone number this past week?

I need your insurance card.

I'll be back in 5 minutes.


5 minutes later...


Hi, can I help you?

Yes, I'm the disgruntled bitch from 5 minutes ago. Here's my card.

Okay let me get you in the system. Oh yay, that knocked you down to 10 dollars. Hang on while I go mix up her prescription.

What, It's not ready?

It will just take 5 minutes.


10 minutes later...


Visions of torching Walgreen's run rampant in my head.

I need to get happy. This little clip always makes me happy... And he's the only doctor I want to be seeing anytime soon!




And guess what? Apparently all the girls' prescriptions are laced with cocaine because they are all bouncing off the walls! Antibiotics in the systems, all are fever free, and all the little brats are going to school tomorrow!

Can I get a HALLELUJAH?