Have you seen Amy?

Something's going on, and I don't know if I like it.

Back in the day, I used to get all excited when the new bar was opening downtown. I'd get dressed to the nines, great makeup, great hair, and go to see and be seen. Dancing and drinking til the wee hours of the night, always having a blast with my friends. I was always at the hip place to be.

But NOW, I was all excited that our big, new HEB was opening up. While I avoided the madness of opening day, I still scooted in there opening week in jeans and a t-shirt, fresh faced and ponytail, and I went to see and was seen. I saw no fewer than 22 people that I knew there the first time. Some I was able to avoid, some I was not. On my two following visits I still ran into multiple women from schools or book club or what have you. I have never been able to go without it turning into some sort of chat fest in the frozen pizza aisle. So now I feel I have to make a little extra effort with my appearance. To go to the grocery store. Because that is now my new hip place to be.

It used to be I would jump in my fine, blue, manual transmission, Camaro Z and cruise mindlessly down the Richmond Strip. Now I climb into my big, gas guzzling SUV and go where my children's schedules command me. Yesterday, I really had to stop and pause for a moment. I was in the process of putting Kathryn in her car seat. But then I proceeded to buckle up five of her buddies, even in the back seat, because she wanted them to be "safe". I put seat belts on five stuffed animals. I think I am losing it.

I now lick my finger to clean my child's face. I now wipe runny noses with my shirt. I now go to five different store to find the perfect shade of pink socks to match my daughter's outfit. I now have Spaghetti-O's and Capri Sun for lunch. I now can sing you every Hannah Montana and Jonas Brother song but have no idea what is on the Top 40. I now am impressed with myself if I stay up til 11 on a Friday night. I now take a three minute shower instead of an hour long bubble bath. I'm now even beginning to find SpongeBob a little funny. I now drink orange juice, without vodka in it.

And I'm now thinking that new Town and Country mini-van is a little cool. With the seats that turn around and the gaming table, I'm liking that. This is not good.

There's something in the water out here in Suburbia. I better go buy some Evian. NOW.