Abby's Birth Story

I originally posted this story on December 27, 2007, Abby's birthday. So some of you have read it, some have not. I hope everyone enjoys it. It was definitely one of the most defining moments of my life.


The year Abby was born was a very difficult one. Her father and I had separated, I was raising a toddler on my own and attending school full time. Christmas was especially tough and I did not want to spend it alone. My mother was going to visit my grandparents who were three hours away. I decided I would go too, against the advice of my midwife and everyone else. I felt fairly confident that if I were to go into labor, I would be fine. After all, they do have hospitals in other towns, plus there were two doctors at Christmas dinner.

I KNEW that the baby wasn't going to come. I told everyone she would be born on the 27th and that was that. And everyone looked at me like I was some kind of nut who thought she could just decide when her baby was born. So I enjoyed little moments through the holidays when I would grimace or say "ooh" or squirm and everyone would immediately say, "Oh my gosh, are you having contractions?" I did rather enjoy being the center of attention (go figure!).

I drove home with my mom on the 26th which was easily the most uncomfortable car ride in my life. When my mom dropped me off, Alli and I took a 3 hour nap. I woke up and looked at her still sleeping rather peacefully. It might have had something to do with the insane amount of Motrin I had given her since of course, my sweet girl was sick all during Christmas. I reached over and woke her up and said,"C'mon pumpkin, you and mom have a date! We're going to Black Eyed Pea and this is the last time it's just the two of us."

Really, you think I would have picked somewhere a little more exciting, but it was 2 minutes up the road and I was really craving their rolls and that fried corn. Alli and I had probably the most peaceful meal ever involving an 18 month old. We went home and played for a bit. I tucked her into bed and told her,"In the morning, your sister will be here."

Let me just say that I am a firm believer in mind over matter. I picked December 27th as Abby's birthday as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I didn't care that the due date was the 29th, I knew when she was coming. At this point in the evening I was having no labor pains, my water hadn't broke, I hadn't yet experienced that "joyful" period of time most of us go through before our babies arrive. I just knew.

I went to bed and around 1am, I rolled over and my water broke. My reaction was, well this sucks, who wants to sleep in a wet bed? So I went and kicked my brother out of the spare bedroom and delegated him to the couch. I called my mom and Abby's dad. I figured he might as well be there since it was his kid and all. I'm a nice person and didn't want him to miss out on one bit of the pain and agony I was about to go through.

So I called them, I did not call my midwife, I don't know why, but I didn't.My mom got there first. Come to find out my ex was too busy having a two hour argument with his "girlfriend" about him actually being there to meet his child. Seemed like a no brainer to me.

My mom ran my bath and at some time I threw up over the side of the tub because I really like to throw up during labor, it's my thing. My mom handed me the phone.

"Call her."

"No, it's not time." (agonizing groan)

"Call her."

"I'm not ready." (as I gripped the soap dish for dear life)

I was afraid to call, the embarrassment of labor vs. indigestion was still very fresh in my mind.

I made the call, Pat, my midwife, I think knew the baby was close, even though I did not. I reassured her I was fine and would call her when the pain got worse, told her not to worry and to go back to sleep. I called her back a few minutes later. She had already started driving to my house.

A short while later, Abby was indeed coming! I was straddling the toilet, backward, and my mom was a little concerned about how she was going to catch the baby so we decided it was time to get in bed, at which point my ex came sauntering up the stairs. "Where we at?" he asked. I'm sure I gave the best go to hell look in the recorded history of the world.

I make it to the bed and immediately start pushing, which was great and all, except my midwife wasn't there. She called, she was stuck at the apartment gate, the code was not working and we were unable to buzz her through. The baby was coming! My mom was having a panic attack on the floor next to the bed. My ex was on the phone, giving the play by play, getting the "how to deliver your baby" speech, throwing the phone down each time I had to push, my brother was running from my apartment all the way in the back of the complex to the front with the remote control for the gate. Miss Abby made her appearance at 4:44am, my midwife at 4:47!

There were times throughout my pregnancy where I was sure I was not going to carry her to term. My mom and Pat later told me they didn't think that I would be able to have another successful home birth. The stress and distractions in my life were so overwhelming, there was much concern about my health and hers. But like I said, I'm a strong woman and when I set my mind to something it happens!! So while I will probably regret sharing this horribly scanned photo with you, it is a very defining and empowering moment in my life. A moment where I kicked adversity's ass! And yes I look like hell, (I did just birth a baby) and yes I look like I'm 12, (I was 20) and yes that is a Mickey Mouse nightgown (I don't really have an excuse for that one!).



When Abby was born she brought peace. Peace to my home, peace to my life. She was the best baby EVER!! She NEVER cried, unless her big sister had pummeled her head with a hairbrush. You could lay her down fully awake and she would fall asleep within five minutes. She was all that I needed and more. And today she still is. She is still my peace. Her love of life, her innocence, her pure joy for the little things, makes me take a step back when things are crazy and remember the peace.