"Mammary" Lane

Remember this?

Oh, I do. The joys and heartaches of pregnancy and childbirth, all to be rewarded with the little sucker permanently attached to your breast. Feeling like, well, a cow.

If I had to say the thing in life that I have been the best at, it would hands down have to be nursing. If they gave out medals for breast-feeding my walls would be covered in gold. Guess I'm just a natural. It wasn't always that way. When Alli was born, we had a struggle with getting her to latch on and I was already convinced that I was a failure as a mother, that I couldn't get that one simple act right. But 10 minutes later, tragedy was averted and her and I both became pros. Each child afterwards, no problems.

I know it's not that easy for everyone. I know it's not a choice for everyone. But luckily it was for me. It was just something that was natural and beautiful to me and a wonderful way to develop those lasting bonds with my babies. I nursed 3 out of 4 for over a year. Abby had to stop at 10 months. The stress of being a single mom, working, going to school and nursing, was causing me to be an unhealthy stick like figure. Ooh, wish I had that problem now. But I decided I needed to put a little meat on my bones and I haven't stopped since!

But please don't go thinking that I am a flaming breast feeding advocate, that I'm a secret recruiter for the La Leche cult. I'm not. In fact I often thought that when I grow up I would like to be a "realistic" lactation consultant. Someone who can give real advice. Like the fact that it is okay to have a cocktail every once in a while, your baby won't die or get drunk, maybe it will sleep a little better, but what's the harm in that?

That the side-lying position at three o'clock in the morning is perfectly acceptable. That it really isn't going to damage your newborn's hidden teeth for it to fall asleep with a boob in the mouth. Especially since momma is sleeping at the same time, because it's all about the SLEEP then anyway!

That you don't have to let your baby nurse for an hour!! Yes I was all about feeding on demand, but I did it on my terms. From day one, a schedule was set, 5 minutes on the first side, 10 on the second. Quick, efficient, done. See no one really likes to tell you that your baby gets all the milk they need within the first 3 to 5 minutes and that it really isn't necessary to become a human pacifier. This tidbit of information is especially helpful for those with multiple children.

That you don't have to buy those hideous nursing shirts, or those big canopies to cover your whole body while out in public. A t-shirt and a burp rag thrown over baby's face will do just fine. I always nursed in public and never had a problem. In fact I think just lifting up a t-shirt is ten times more discreet than setting up all that other business. I can't tell you how many times I would be nursing at a table when the waiter came to take our order, and was completely oblivious to the fact that anything was going on. Yep I've nursed from Steak and Ale (I was young and confused, I thought they actually served steak there) to The Taste Of Texas (okay I did at least do it in the bathroom there). But the fact is that if you don't call attention to it, the wackos in the mall won't go screaming about public indecency.

Obviously after nursing four, I probably felt a little more cow like than others. But I can laugh at myself. Here's Kathryn's first Halloween:

Of course the costume tied up the back so it wasn't very conducive for breast feeding. And all these years of being a "natural" mother have caused me to desire some "unnatural" help. I bought this for myself for my 30th birthday.

I don't need them any bigger, I just want them put back on the top shelf. Let's see I think I have saved about 86 dollars so far. So at that rate I should be able to afford the surgery 20 years after I die, if I live to the ripe old age of 85.

Okay enough about all that. Yes I can hear some of you sighing Thank God!! Just to let you know that I don't go walking around pastures taking pictures of nursing calves, here's some pictures of us at the company picnic.