The Last First Day

Well it's come and gone. The last first day of a child of mine going to school. When it was all said and done, it was pretty uneventful. Kathryn could NOT wait to get there this morning. She grabbed her "baby jaguar" backpack that is way bigger than she is and paraded around the house in it for about 30 minutes. And she was thrilled that there was finally food in her lunch box! She couldn't wait to put on her froggy necklace. She's in the frog class and that's how the carline teachers were able to steer her in the right direction.


She was just so excited and when I dropped her off in the car pool line, she didn't even look back. And I know because I sat there and watched her walk all the way to the door much to the irritation of the teachers and the other parents. Who cares? That was my baby! Surprisingly I wasn't emotional, I was happy for her.

And then there was only me. What to do, what to do? I was suddenly overwhelmed with confusion. No purpose whatsoever. I could have went to the gym, but I've waited three years, what was one more day? So I went home and took a long, uninterrupted shower and it was heaven! I didn't have to worry about anyone coloring on the walls or feeding the dog pickles or calling Japan on my cell phone.

After my shower I just sat. On the couch, enjoying the quiet. No Dora or Diego on the TV, no demands for more juice, no block towers crashing down. I sat for quite a while before I finally realized, hey I can go wherever I want with no children! I can shop without having to pack snacks, I can eat lunch without having to cut up anyone else's food, I can go to the bookstore and avoid the train table, I can go anywhere and not have to go to the potty! This isn't so bad after all.

So I had a nice afternoon of doing basically nothing. Wasting time really. There was plenty I needed to do but I figured it could all wait. I wanted one day to just be.

Then came time to pick her up. And sitting in the car pool line, watching the teacher walk her towards the car, seeing that big old grin splashed across her face, I started crying. I guess it hit then, she really is a big girl now. She got in the car and unlike her sisters, told me EVERYTHING she had done today, smiling the whole time!

She can't wait to go back. And I can't wait to send her. Because mysterious crayon marks appeared on the kitchen table. And she was a little too demanding of a snack when we got home. And a bit too insistent that SpongeBob be on the TV. But I happily obliged.