Really, it's okay, I can totally fit pneumonia into my schedule

Well first off, I jinxed it. The weather that is. Today was full of torrential downpours which would have been perfect for me. The cleaning lady is coming tomorrow so I needed to clean. Confused? Yeah, me too. Anyway, it would have been perfect for me to stay indoors and get the house all straightened up, except for the fact that we have four toilets, six humans and were down to a roll and a half of toilet paper.

And I remembered that I was supposed to contribute 4 large bags of candy for teacher appreciation by last Thursday and when I called the mom to apologize and lie that I had been on my deathbed, she let me know that it was completely fine to bring the candy up to school tomorrow. Oh, yay.

And then I got a call from Kathryn's preschool letting me know that her registration paperwork was due last week and if I didn't get it in by tomorrow they would release her spot to someone on the waiting list. Oh hell no, you won't!! I can't handle that girl 5 days a week, she will be in school. Except I didn't have her shot records or the notarized emergency form ready.

And since the rest of my week is already jam packed with crap to do, this obviously facilitated the need to run errands in the pouring rain.

So I don't believe in umbrellas. You see once upon a time, there was an umbrella and there was a mom and a toddler and a newborn. And one day the mom had to balance the umbrella and the diaper bag and hold on to the toddler and right before she tried to get the newborn out of the car seat she slipped and landed on her ass in a large puddle because she was a brilliant gal who always wore flip flops when it rained. And so she managed to get herself and the children soaking wet and then she figured what the hell, ditch the umbrella, it's one less thing to have to juggle. And she's been rained on ever since.

Fast forward to today, loads of errands, no umbrella, no problem. Kathryn hadn't had a bath all weekend, it wouldn't hurt her to get a little wet. So we bopped in and out of Old Navy, Barnes and Noble, the doctor's office, the bank, the kennel, Kathryn's school, at some point we ate, and then we sat in the parking lot of Target. Where I knew right on the other side of those sliding glass doors would be an umbrella display. For people like me. And as I sat in that parking lot, hair soaking, but happy that I had the good sense to change out of my white T-shirt before leaving the house and that I was wearing shoes with great traction, I looked over at the handicapped parking. And I longed to jump ten spots closer to the doors because really anyone who was physically impaired was not going to be dumb enough to go out in the rain. Only those mentally impaired. Like myself. And no cop would be around to issue a ticket because cops don't like to get wet either. But then the morals set in, just in case, and we got poured on running into Target.

And while we were checking out, I noticed that it had stopped raining so I told the cashier that I wasn't going to buy the umbrella after all. And then when I pushed my cart outside to unload my purchases and my child, the rainclouds said HAHA Sucker and let it go.

And our last stop, I had to register the girls for their summer and fall gymnastics classes. Why I have to register for fall so early in the year is beyond me but it has to be done. Because if you don't do it early, then you get stuck with some crap ass class time that really doesn't work with your schedule. And I like the early classes. The classes where I don't have to circle the parking lot a bazillion times to find a spot. Because parking there sucks. If you ever get really bored you can take your sweet time vacating your parking spot. Just enough time so that it becomes coveted by multiple mini-vans and then you can see the velour tracksuits, acrylic nails and Coach purses fly in your rear view mirror as you drive off and watch the soccer moms duke it out over your spot. But I'm not sure if I can partake in that past time anymore because while we were there, my sweet angel child, the one that was tired of running errands and getting rained on, pulled the whole bar full of leotards right off the office wall. So we might be transferring gyms now.

But now we're home. And my back is on fire because I've been doing the top two things my physical therapist tells me not to do. Running and carrying my kid. And not only is the back hurting but the child and I are shivering and sneezing. And I don't think Airborne or Emergen-C works for pneumonia. No matter, because I'm sure as hell not running to CVS to get either!