Nursing is NOT in her future

You know those amazing stories you hear, when a three year old calls 911 and saves her mom's life? Yeah, that will never happen in my house.

Yesterday afternoon, Kathryn and I had just got home from her swimming lesson. Alli called to remind me that she was staying after school for choir practice and I was trying to figure out how I was going to pick her up and get Emma to swim team practice at the same time. I went to switch out a load of laundry and as I was moving the whites from the washer to the dryer, my back snapped and I hit the floor.

Proof that laundry is indeed, hazardous to your health.

All I could think was oh no, oh no, not again as I was laying there in excruciating pain. I was sobbing hysterically, I couldn't move and Kathryn was oblivious to the whole thing. Somehow I managed to hobble/crawl/roll myself into the bedroom, I reached over for the phone and of course it wasn't there. I remembered that I had left it in the study that morning.

"Kathryn, honey, Mommy needs your help!"

"What, I'm watching Spongebob."

"Kathryn, Mommy hurt her back again and I really need you to help me, okay?"

"Mommy, be quiet, I can't hear the TV!"

I'm sobbing, I'm writhing in pain, and the little brat can't help me out because she is watching SpongeBob, AGAIN!?!

"Kathryn, sweetie, please, Mommy really needs you to come here, she's hurt really bad!"

I see her walk right. past. my. door.

"Honey, what are you doing?"

"I'm coloring a picture."

"Kathryn you need to come here RIGHT NOW!"

And I hear : "UGHHHHHHHH!"

Oh, no she didn't.

Her face appears in the door.

"Go get Mommy the phone, please."

She brings it to me.

"Do you want anything else?" punctuated with a big huff and puff as she walks out of my room.

Yes as a matter of fact, you little brat. I want you to remember that this is most likely your fault seeing as how you were probably playing Jenga with my spine in utero. I want you to remember that YOUR birth was the most excruciating pain I have ever been through. I want you to remember when you were 5 months old and had RSV, bronchitis, and croup how I was basically attached to your side for 7 weeks. I want you to remember that the last time you threw up all over me, I waited an hour and a half until you were feeling better before I washed your vomit out of my hair and off my body. I want you to remember that I am the one that gets up multiple times a night when you are screaming from your night terrors. I want you to remember that this past week, I have been picking you up and carrying you around against my better judgement because honestly when you bat those eyelashes of yours, how can I refuse?

But most of all I want you to grow about 2 1/2 feet and go get Mommy the Vicodin out of the medicine cabinet.

She reappeared, with a picture of an elephant she drew.

"Here, Mommy I made this for you. My elephant can carry you around now. "

And she batted those damn eyelashes of hers at me, and once again, I told her to thank her lucky stars that she's so dang cute, and the little brat was forgiven.