A Memo

Dear Speech Pathologist:

Perhaps you did not get the previous memo that states that I do not do early morning appointments. 7:30am on a Monday morning is not for me. There is a reason I am a stay-at-home mom and that is to avoid having to attend 7:30am Monday morning meetings. My schedule is very flexible, 11am on Tuesday, 2:15 on Wednesday, really any other time than 7:30am on a Monday morning.

While the reason we were having this meeting was indeed fantastic, I am sorry I did not seem over the moon. You see I had to wrestle 3 brats out of bed, I started an hour earlier than normal but of course that's not when they woke up. I had to dress them, feed them, and convince them to tear themselves away from SpongeBob. It was no easy task. The tears were flowing and the attitudes were flying and that was just from me. And if I smelled a little funky, well sorry, I did not have time to shower being as I had lunches to make and hair to braid. And if I seemed a little cranky, well that's due to the fact that I myself didn't consume any breakfast and I still haven't taken up drinking coffee. Though I really should.

And I'm sorry that my three year old basically destroyed your office. The bag of distractions I packed for her was left on the kitchen counter during the mad rush of Holy Crap we have to be there in one minute! Although that didn't really matter, seeing how you were 15 minutes late. So I might not feel too bad that she emptied 5 eggs of your silly putty all over your desk. And since you were late, by the time we had to leave, we could not. We were trapped in the parking lot unable to back out of our space because the dreaded car pool line was in full effect. Which makes no sense to me being that every child that attends our school lives in our neighborhood so it would make sense to either take advantage of the Transportation Department's pretty yellow buses that our tax dollars pay for, or the miles of hike and bike trails that our HOA dues maintain.

So yes I am ECSTATIC that Abby no longer has to attend speech therapy. Her blends and sounds are all perfect now and she can go forth to middle school without having the "Special Education" label attached to her. Although maybe we could have worked a little more on fluency? The girl still takes 30 minutes to tell a story and honestly I don't have that kind of time in my day. But under your AWESOME tutelage she has come a LONG way!!

And it has occurred to me that through your years of work with her, I never once got you a Christmas gift. Maybe that's why you scheduled a 7:30am Monday morning meeting. I am truly sorry for that oversight. 4 children, 200 teachers, someone is bound to be forgotten in the mix. But I promise you that I am going to run out and grab you a movie theater gift certificate to use this summer to show you that I do indeed appreciate all that you have done for my sweet girl.

Right after my nap.