She said it...not me

You know how when you finally decide to visit your blog after months of neglect and find a post that you hadn't published? Yeah, well me too. From September...

We've been having some issues with the contacts. It's a new thing for Alli and for me. I don't even wear the glasses I'm supposed to, so why would I bother with something like contacts. Especially as skittish as I am just applying mascara but there is a good reason for that.


The first prescription wasn't perfect. We went back and got it changed and received a new set to try. She had been getting a little better about putting them in and taking them out but not much. We had, at least, reduced the length of the screaming fits. And some mornings, in order to avoid drama, she had just chosen to wear her glasses.


So over the weekend she had plenty of time to just relax and practice. On Saturday she said the left eye was just a little blurry but it seemed to get better as the day went on. It was late Saturday night when she finally removed her lenses and that took quite a while. The new lenses were much thinner and harder for her to get a pinch on.


I've since learned that the longer the lenses are in, the more they adhere to the eye, therefore the harder they are to get in. I've also learned that when one cries, the tears suction the lens to the eyeball also making it harder to remove. Did I learn these tips from the optician, who you might think should give you some practical advice for a teenage girl? Um, no. I learned them from my fellow library volunteer.


So Saturday night, there were some tears and a wee bit of drama and it was not because of the high school football team's loss that evening.


On Sunday morning we were rushing to get ready for church and it was a typical morning with four daughters. Alli, as usual, was last to be ready. She got into the truck and kept remarking how the left eye was blurry but since it had cleared up the day before, we were not worried.


It was a long Sunday. Church, football, WHAP. Oh you don't know what WHAP is? Let me tell you...it is hell. It is the thing that is causing my sweet, loving, quiet teenage girl to morph into a raving, textbook throwing, screaming lunatic. It is why I never see her except for when she comes down to inhale dinner. It is why her light is still on long after I go to bed. It is why she is falling asleep in Algebra II, well that and her teaching is b-o-r-i-n-g. It is World History AP and I hate it.


Alli had made the choice, against her mother's judgement and fear of driving in thunderstorms, to go to Youth Group on Sunday night. Her mother, wise as she is, reminded her daughter of the looming hours of "reading notes". Alli said she needed a break and it would not be a problem. Her mother, once again, pointed out the torrential downpour through the window. Alli, wanted to go progressive suppering. And so later that evening when Alli was frustrated and crying and unable to remove her contacts, her mother had no symphathy. And her mother certainly wasn't going to stick her finger on anyone's eyeball. Not even her firstborn's.


I calmly asked Alli to just try the other eye. But there is a system, she was told to always take out the right one first. I said screw the system and move on. She was still frustrated that the left was so blurry, that she was so tired, that she was so frustrated, that I had been so right. And as she leaned closer to her new makeup mirror, she looked. And looked. And looked. And started freaking out. Because apparently the left eye had swallowed her lens.


She asked me to see if I could see it. I looked closely and didn't. And then I checked in the right eye and really couldn't see that one either. It is amazing how clear these things really are. Or how blind I really am. And while we knew for a fact that the right lens was there, based on the many and near misses of almost getting it out, she was starting to doubt the fact, and thank the Lord, that the left lens was not.


And in the midst of it all, the tears ceased and the laughing began. Because her eye had been blurry all day, it never cleared up. She had been in such a rush this morning. And downstairs on the bathroom rug was one left eye contact lens.


And Alli, grinning from ear to ear, proclaimed herself "a dumb blonde."


And I agreed.


And told her she better pass WHAP.

Update: Alli is much better with her contact lenses, still as dramatic in the mornings and in order to perserve hers' and her mother's sanity...no longer in WHAP.